Blue and Pink Jobs

Right then, before I start I have to fess up that I've stolen the idea for this blog post from an imaginary friend on the Internet who's superb blog can be read HERE.

Tinternet, and especially groups on The Book, is full of discussion on what constitutes pink and blue jobs when away in the caravan.  I've previously touched on this in a blog post back October 2012 (CLICK HERE) , when I said ......

 When we are away, Herself and I tend to share the duties equally.

 She tends to be 50% cook, washer upper, laundry lady, reversing aid, left wing mirror authenticator,  sweeper of the floor, bed maker upper, financier, site booker inner, fridge switch operator,  roof vent checker, medical advisor, Health & Safety representative, highway code enforcer, speed trap detector, profanity censor, blind operator, water empty alarm, “bog full” announcer, dietary advisor, disc jockey, meteorologist, and three night conjugal event co-ordinator.

 Of course, everything else as usual is down to me, and rather than bore you with a long list, suffice to say I drive.  I am also put in charge of anything that in effluent related.

This hardly does the topic justice though, so I knocked up the following table.  It is obviously composed from my perspective and makes a big issue of everything I do while at the same time completely ignoring a multitude of tasks that herself does that I didn't know she does, or even that they needed doing!

So if you see a fat, bald Welsh bloke with two black eyes emptying the waste on your next site, you'll know that Herself has read this post and explained to me in no uncertain terms the error of my ways!!

Anyway, the chart ........

Where we go is always down to me.  Herself take s no interest in this, to the point that even 2 days before we set off her response to work colleagues when asked where she is going this time on holidays is always a shrug of the shoulders.

Towing duties are down to me, Herself can tow and has done in the past when we towed a much smaller 15ft Avondale Pearl Custom, but since our vans have gone past 7m she's not towed on the public highway.

Seeing that Herself also has no interest in where we are heading, the navigation is also down to me ..... This of course may also be due to me ranting at her in the past when she's unwittingly sent me down a dead end or something.

I'm deaf, so always leave Herself to check in and have the lecture off the site wardens, and I just circle the site (at least 3 times) until Herself had decided on a suitable pitch.  There are many factors to take into account here for Herself, but the practicalities of getting the van onto the chosen pitch and being able to get a TV signal are not on Herself's radar.

I'm shit at reversing and Herself won't touch the mover remote so getting the van off the back of the car and onto the pitch is down to me, but to be fair she will jump into the driver's seat just as soon as I've unhooked the breakaway cable, and parks up in the allocated spot once I precision pitched in line with the white peg (no dressing  down off those pesky wardens).

I have toys, so pitching the van and getting it level is my job, and I will not give up that pleasure to anyone.  I make it look as complicated as possible but to be brutally honest the combination of a Pitch Perfect, Lock 'n' Level, cordless tyre inflator, cordless drill and a pair of Nemesis wheel locks makes the task a doddle.

No doubt though, if Tyre inflation of the Lock 'n' Level was via a foot pump, Herself's assistance would be required as I wouldn't be able to fully concentrate on looking out for those magic two lights while at the same time pumping away and pulling calf muscles.

By now Herself has generally escaped the wind and rain just as I'm winding down the last leg.  She inside and is hurling stuff out of the door in my general direction.  Well it can be no accident that most of it hits me!  Services are connected by me outside while she sets about converting inside from travelling mode into a habitable space.  This used to be a big deal, but in reality is much easier now it's just the two of us travelling.  When the boys travelled with us you couldn't step inside the van for crap that covered the entire floor!

Awning / canopy next. If just the canopy I manage that by myself while Herself trots off to inform the wardens what pitch we are on and collect any security fobs needed.  She never used to, but we've had too many near misses with pegs flying through the air over the years and she feels safer out of the firing zone.

The Vango is a 2 person job, and with the appropriate risk assessments in place I am honoured to have her assistance which really only includes holding onto things that need holding onto and following me round with the peg bag!

Awning furniture is her department while I plug in the extension lead and set up any lights.

To complete the set up The TV needs to be tuned and our IT set up.  Again this involves toys so I am responsible.  TV is a priority as this will keep Herself happy, so an app is fired up on my phone to find the nearest transmitter, the compass app is fired up to make sure the status in pointing in the right direction and the TVs are prodded into doing their thing.

When we're on site any cooking is shared evenly, when I say shared what i really mean is anything exciting like using a BBQ or a griddle is bagsied by me while Herself gets to hold onto the more mundane stuff that involves using the cooker.  The one task that we do share evenly is the washing up, though to be honest as we have a dish washer at home I find it a bit of a novelty.

Keeping things empty that should be empty and keeping things full that should be full is my department.  Herself did empty the toilet once, but it is an experience she's not too keen to repeat!

I can't stand being in a dirty caravan with dirty windows so all outside cleaning is initiated by me, but to be fair to Herself she always makes the bed and spruces up the inside to her much higher standards than mine!

I don't know how to work our washing machine at home, so when away a trip down to the laundry room when required is a bit of a novelty for me, though my incompetence sometimes infuriates any assistants working there!

Breaking camp is a depressing process.  We tend to just get up and do it, with very little social interaction.  It can be simply split.  I do outside and Herself does inside, but she does watch over me when hitching up to correct any "senior moments".

I'm usually on my chin straps when we get home, and Herself has usually has a good kip as we eat up motorway miles, so once home she engages overdrive, with me just having to get the van back into its rather tight parking space and secure it from thieves.  Herself does most of the rest.

And there you have it.  Should have just left it as it was in 2012.