Well, I think it's pretty safe to say that 2020 was a washout on the caravanning front, we fared better than some, but still our nights away totalled just 26 compared to 57 in 2019 with miles covered being 794 compared to 2144.
2021 arrived with us still being locked down, though it transpired that restrictions would ease a little sooner in Wales than England. Mr Drakeford gave us the date of Saturday 27th Mrach for when we could use our self contained caravans again, but with our minds conditioned after having been isolated for most of the past 12 months we were in no hurry to join the throngs over Easter.
Apart from self contained accomodation much still remains shut, no attractions, no pubs (inside or out), so there seemed little point in travelling too far ..... that and Creaky is quite poorly and Herself expressed a desire to be able to pop back to see her a few times in the week.
We've leave to burn in work and are desparate for some caravan time, so a week was booked at Bank Farm on The Gower ... reserving a front row pitch with views over Port Eynon to The Bristol Channel.
The small, but rather expensive matter of a caravan service was attended to prior to our break. I'm pulling out of 3AAAs relieved that she's had a clean bill of health, but rather perplexed as to how they can justify the prices they charge to grease the hitch and adjust the brakes.
Saturday 10 April
I'd had an e mail from site in the week asking if I could pay the balamce of the site fees over the phone in advance as to avoid contact with reception staff on arrival. Fair enough I thought, but I'd delayed doing so until this morning, when we actually knew we were going to go, what withn Creakey's poor health.
I phone up and go through the process. All good. Then I ask "What do we do on arrival?" to which, and not without a hint of irony, the bloke on the other end says "Oh, you'll have to go into reception to pay for and collect your card for the metered electric on pitch!"
My head does a few involuntary clicks.
He did say though that our pitch was free and that we could come over any time we liked, so instead of waiting until 1pm I go round and ask the Captain (Ex) if he can move his Jalopy out of the way, and in no time at all the van is inched out into the traffic, hitched up and ready for me to cry out ..... WAGONS ROLL.
The cruise on the 40mph roads over to the South Gower in the sunshine is very pleasant. We've passed through Llanrhidian and are traversing Cefn Bryn when I start to slow down and pull over. Herself's face transforms into one of worry with a tentative "What's wrong?", my reply of "Nothing. The marketing team at Bailey used this road for some of their promo shots, and I wanted one of our outfit on nthe same spot."
The punch in the arm (right on my COVID jab sweet spot as well) reminded me of my foolishness and I press down on the RHS pedal somewhat deflated. So instead of our magnificent outfit you'll have to make do with one from Bailey and use your imagination.
In no time at all we're pulling throgh the gates and I jump out for a rather bizarre, masked up, check in.
Due to us not having caravanned much at all in the last 18 months it was like caravan virgins rather that seasoned caravanners of 28 years that we started to set up, not helped by our new to us Isabella porch awning, and I'm ashamed to admit that it was not until 2 hrs after checkin that we were able to announce to Facebookville that "We is arrived."
A few hours of not doing much at all followed, content to just soak in the view, and we're intoxicated by it too after so many months of lockdown, staring at the same 4 walls at home.
Eventually we feel the need to go out for a spin. First off we drop down into Port Eynon. That is rammed full of people so we don't stop. We make our way over to Rhossili and that's the same so do a loop over to north Gower and back towards site passed The King Arthur. It's heaving there too as they're using a loophole to attract custom. Both inside and outside hospitality in Wales must still remain closed, but they're selling "takeaway beer". Inside is barriered off and they have a table in the porch, their outside picnic tables are also taped off, but the public benches in the vicinity, that have vastly increased in numbers lately, are all occupied and throngs stand at the roadside guzzling pints of their favourite tipple.
Mr Drakeford would have a fit!
On our return to site a severe dose of CBA sets in, and thoughts of cooking a meal are put to one side and a chippy tea is procured from Chips Ahoy.
It turns chilly, so we retreat to the van. Upfront Herself gets engrossed in Harry Potter while I get out my "Pervert's Glasses" to watch the bulk cargo ships anchored in the Bristol Channel, families playing on the beach and caravanners on the SkySea site below emtying their toilet waste tanks.
Sunday 11 April
I wake to the sight that only a caravanner will appreciate.
I light a flame under the kettle and open the blinds to this.
This is one of those pictures you could show to people who ask you "why caravanning?"
We breakfast on bacon butties before I set about doing stuff to the awning that I couldn't work out yesterday. Isabellas have a lot more bits than any other awning we have owned. But at a bargain price of £220 we're more than happy with our purchase.
The wind is bloody cold, so a wind break is erected to facilitate sitting out in the sun as the site empties at the end of the school easter holidays.
Roids and TF come over to join us. We lunch on a few pasties and sit out enjoying the spells of sunshine as the clouds move quickly across the sky.
The dogs need a good run by now, so piled into Toyah we head down into Port Eynon, and towards the beach. Crowds gather outside The Ship Inn guzzling takeaway beer in the street sticking up two fingers to Mr Drakeford as they do.
Down on the beach it's a little strange. While the sun is out, the wind is biting. Some down for just the walk while others are huddled around driftwood fires. Some kids are even in swimsuits having been for a dip!!
Herself and TF settle down on some rocks in a sheltered spot whilst Roids chucks a ball for the dogs to chase until they're knackered.
I'd noted yesterday that there'd been a landslip close to the site entrance, it looked significant, but from down here you can appreciate the scale of the slip and how close it is to some property. They must be shitting bricks!
Up on site the BBQ gets lit. Roids takes the opportunity to warm his feet on the flames before we throw on some burgers to be cremated for our tea.
A very pleasant evening is spent as I delve into my stash of Strongbow, Roids helps Herself empty a few bottles of wine, and TF makes do with tea and chocolate. The chat flowed and all too soon the sea view was replaced with the twinkling lights of Port Eynon below, and we're waving to their tail lights as they head back home.
I got into full on anorak mode, firing up the Marine Traffic app on my phone to see where the ships in the channel had come from when I see that the Mumbles lifeboat is out. I keep an eye on the headland to our left, but it doesn't appear, though something must be going on as a refresh of the page showed that both the Horton and Burry Port boats are also in the water.
By 10pm I'm on my chinstraps and retire, leaving Herself engrossed in something on TV.
Monday 12 April
I wake and turn off notification for my work WhatsApp group. I'm on leave and have no interest in following my boys arguing about who is going to do what calls!!
We've just cleared up after breakfast when the weather closed in a little, and it's proper mun out there.
It's a good job we've nothing else planned for the morning except to keep the kettle ticking over and guzzling a few gallons of tea. By mid afternoon though it's cleared up lovely, even if the wind is still bitingly cold. Bank Farm is huge, and many of the fields are free for you to raom. So we did, and very pleasant it was too.
Tea tonight is simply slamon fillets with a jacket spud.
Hit the spot lovely it did, and full as a Gyppo's handbag I settle down on one of the front benches to let it settle (sleep it off). Come 8pm I get a nudge and look up to see Herself's best puppy dog eyes. She's run out of wine, and that just won't do. In my head I'm wishing that she'd thought of this as she was draining the bottle instead of when she avctually drained it, as at just gone 8pm the chances of anything being open this far out on the peninsular were pretty slim.
The Premier stores at Scurlage had its shutters down and the garage at Knelston had a chain across the entrance. Shephards in Penmaen didn't look as it had been open since the first lockdown, so on we continued. She's not moaning though, so I think secretly she just wanted to go out for a spin.
As we approach the lights of Swansea the blue neon signs of the Co-op in Killay come to the rescue. I dart in and come out loaded up with a few chilled bottles and a pack of plastic cups.
Tuesday 13 April
We've got stuff to do today, but not before herself has supplied me with a bacon roll and mug of builders. The dogs are tired and settle themselves down on the bench opposite me.
I make a move and Tali gives me a look that says "Hope you're not putting your walking boots on, cos I'm going nowhere!"
We head back in the direction of home, stopping on the way at CKs to pick up a few of their custard slices for Creakey. We put some washing in the machine before Herself goes over to spend some time with her olds while I pop up to poke my head around Coupons' door.
On the way back I pull into the side of the road at Reynoldston and ask Herself to take the wheel. You see, I wanted to capture some "Site Arrival" footage for an imaginary friend of mine off the internet. Herself didn't quite get the idea that she should take it easy, pretending she had a caravan on the back, and took off like Sébastien Loeb on a forest stage. Let's just say it took some effort to hold my phone steady on the dash.
Back on site we chill for the rest of the afternoon, alternating between the awning and outside as the wind and sun dictated.
We take a spin over to Worms Head at Rhossili to watch the sun drop down behind the horizon drinking in the beauty of the place.
Would have been nice if the hotel had been open though to have a pint.
Wednesday 14 April
Superb kip last night, due mainly I think to us knocking off the heating overnight altogether. It was gone 9am when Herself woke me with a steaming mug of tea in one hand. There was no bacon sandwich in the other though, but I'll forgive her indiscretion just this once seeing that last night she spoilt me by producing an Isabella branded peg bag and pole bag as a suprise pressie. At this rate she'll have spent more on accessories than we actually paid for the awning.
"Do I need a shower and wash my hair?" came the loaded question. Now most men will undersdtand that this is a no win situation. Do you go with "Nah, you look radiant as you are." and then risk her realising after you've gone out that you may have been stretching the truth, or do you risk the "Yes, I was thinking of wringing out your hair to fry some eggs."?
I choose not to answer, pretending that the wax guards on my hearing aids need changing as my undivided attention turns to the paddle boarders down in the bay below.
Now, if you've been paying attention you'd know we have a new to us Isabella awning (I may have mentioned it previously). We're chuffed with it, but what's been niggling me since Saturday is that 2 zippers came off the front panel while setting up, and I've been unable to fathom how to fix it since, spending 15 mins every day fiddling before stropping off in defeat.
This morning my pride gave in and I Googled it. Turns out I'm not the only one and internet forums are awash with suggestions to remedy the predicament (some including suggestions to take a set of pliers to the zip are quickly dismissed). 5 mins on Google and Youtube and a further 2 mins on my hands and knees and we now have a fully functioning front panel.
Herself is impressed, but I've not yet fessed up to Googling a solution. Instead I'll bask in the glory of her thinking I'm some sort of awning zip genius or something.
Didn't move far for the rest of the day except for taking the dogs for a walk around the fields of Bank Farm, just killing time until our VIP guest arrives.
Just in time for tea Ronnie's Beamer pulls up and Beastie is waving excitedly from her seat in the back. We dig into our evening meal in the awning before her parents head for home leaving Beastie with us for 24 hrs Mimms and Dats time.
Beastie wants to watch Rapunzel (again) and who are we to argue. My dodgy box comes out and is hooked up to my phone to download the movie. The idea was to set up the big front bed and all settle down to watch it all together, however Beastie had different ideas about how to use the big bouncy space.
Thursday 15 April
Usually when away in the van Herself and I treat ourselves to a rather sedate start to the day. We'll have at least 2 brews before throwing some rashers onto the hot plate and then a few more before we think of moving .... at all.
Not today though. Beastie wants to play and Dats' expertese is tested as Beastie wants Rapunzel towers built out of her Mag Tiles.
After breakfast Beastie wants to visit the park on site, so Dats is dragged over there. It's not 10am yet and I've expended more energy that I usually do in a whole holiday day!
The wind is biting though, so before her dew drops freeze we head back to the warmth of the awning which benefits from great solar gains out of the sun. A game of table skittles passes some time before we head off out.
Beastie nods off in her car seat before we've hit the B road outside the site, and Dats is sectretly wishing he could doze off for a power nap too!
I pull into the garage just down the road to pic up some bits and pieces for a picnic lunch and a bucket and spade. . They had no buckets out on dispaly so I asked a lady stacking shelves if they had any. She popped into the store room and came back with one telling me it was £2.99. I added it to the running total in my head and go to the till.
"That'll be £8.39 please."
"Don't think so."
"Yes it is."
"No, it's £6.39, everything else has price tags on it and she told me that was £2.99."
"Ok, £6.39 it is then." as he rings it all back through.
I hate conning gits with a passion
Back in the car we point her nose down towards Oxwich Bay, where the next opportunist, yellow vest wearing, conning git is demanding £5 to park up. I hand over a fistfll of 5p, 10p and 20p from Toyah's ashtray before spraying grit and sand into his grinning gob.
We spend some time on the beach, throwing a ball for the dogs and collecting a bucket of shells, before the cold wind gets too much for Beastie. We really should have brought her coat down with us.
We retreat to Toyah for our picnic lunch, where Beastie perches on the arm rest between us as we all watch in disbelief as some nutter in just swimming shorts strolls down the beach and into the sea for a dip. The wind chill on exit must have been brutal.
Back on site we play around in the awning until Ronnie and MBW rock up to take her home after tea. We would have had a quick tidy up, but to be brutally honest, we were knackered. Resisting the urge to head straight for bed we headed off over to Worms Head to watch the sunset.
On arrival it appeared that nearly all of SW Wales had the same idea.
Friday 16 April
Up early today, with the alarm on my phone set for 7.15am. Roids and TF work over on the Gower, and they're popping over for tea straight from work later, so I head over to north Gower to meet them at the gate of their work place to collect Gwen their Border Collie.
It's been an odd week this week for us. We're pretty close to home, so know the area really well as it's in "daytrip" territory for us. We've no need or desire to go out exploring, so have been content to spend a lot of time sitting outside the van soaking up the view.
This is the reason we booked this pitch for this week, and we didn't really move much all day. Late afternoon I popped out to get a few odds and ends for tea, and pulled into the car park of the Premier stores in Scurlage. Walking in through the door I nod at the owner, who either eats a lot of pasties or has the same crumbs on his chops from yesterday.
He till ups my groceries and mistakenly thinks I was born yesterday too. I've mentally totted up the grand total and what he wants me to put on my contactless is about £8 north of what I think it should be.
I look up at him, he's not tall but the serving area is elevated, he looks down at me pushing the device closer, I look back up at him and raise my eyebrows at his pasty crumb covered chops. It takes a while but it finally drops on him that I ain't paying.
"What?"
"Doesn't that seem like a lot to you for what's sitting on the counter?"
"Uh, I'll just check."
"Yes that may be an idea."
"Oh yes, there's £8 on there that she (he points to today's equivilent of a young YTS girl) left on."
"Righto."
I hate conning gits with a passion.
Back on site we set fire to some charcoal and proceed to cremate some processed meat in readiness for the arrival of Roids and TF. The wind has actually dropped today. It's been fine for the rest of the week, and while it's been nice to site out behind the wind break, it's been too fresh to dine alfresco. That changed this evening and we sat for dinner at a table with a superb view over Port Eynon and onto the Bristol Channel.
As the sun drops so does the temperature, so we retreat to the comfort of the awning and then the caravan to have a good chat annd drink. It's gone 11pm by the time they leave us, and the poor bloke next door who only pulled in at 8.30pm is still attempting to bang some pegs in by torchlight.
Saturday 17 April
Due to our late night last night it's not exactly an early start this morning. We peel ourselves off the sheets at 8.30am and set about breaking camp. The sun's been up long enough that we don't have any condensation or dew issues, so the Isabella is packed away bone dry.
By 10am we're emptying all our waste tanks and cashing in our remaining credit off the electric card. I really don't like these PAYG electric meters on site. Far too stressful. I'd prefer to pay extra on the site fee (even if it's more that I'd use) and not have to worry about credit running out at an inconvenient time.
Pulling up outside Home is Where you Drag It towers at 11am we're lucky that the Captain has popped out, so the van can be inched back in on the mover staright away.
