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Saturday 15 July 2023

Cornwall 2023 - Disaster after Disaster

Time for our annual pilgrimage to Kernow.  Should be easy you say, you go there every year you say.

My word, this was a difficult one to arrange.  My shopping list was

  • A commercial site with stuff on it for Beastie and Bwmps to do.
  • Must have statics and touring pitches as Coupons, Mike and Nursey want to come too.
  • Hotel or B&B accommodation very close for Grumbles to tag along.

........... and that's before we can get the planets to align with everyone's annual leave!!

We won't be going to Trevedra and the far west of Cornwall this year, and to be honest I'm feeling a little guilty about it, instead we're heading to Perranporth and the frankly massive Perran Sands run by Haven.  grumbles will be staying at Seiners Arms down in the town.

Not the best week leading up to our departure.  Aged 13 years and 3 months we had to say goodbye to our boy Tali, or Taliesin to give him his full name,  a Celtic name meaning handsome.


Tali loved the caravan.  Fly high bach, we're going to miss you terribly.

Friday 30 June

Feeling raw today, but stuff still needs to get done.  Herself had had the foresight to pack our clothes earlier in the week, but a food delivery was due at 7am to be loaded in.  I still had to dig out the big awning and a load of other kit we only drag away and load up the car and roofbox.

The day involved a lot of moping about feeling sorry for myself, and I may have had some grit in my eye more than once.

6.45 pm and the van is out on the road and hitched up ready for the planned 7pm depart.  We get a call from Nelson, they’re running a bit late.  I’m not happy with waiting as the traffic is quite busy and we’ve had a few near misses already with impatient drivers!  We say we’ll make tracks and meet them at a services somewhere enroute.

The more observant regular readers will have noticed a change of tow car.  On returning from Llanmadoc a few weeks ago we were at a loose end so went tyre kicking at a local dealership, but ended up part exchanging Toyah.  Meet Trude.



Trude impresses me straight away as she climbs the slip road at J48, and that’s how it stayed.  I thought Toyah was good, but the 3.0 V6 under Trude’s bonnet is something else!

We stop briefly at Sedgemoor as Gwawr is making desperate noises in the back and then at Taunton Dean to wait for Nelson and Co.  Once we have a enough vehicles (more than one) for a convoy we carry on into the rapidly fading light for the tow over Dartmoor and onto Bodmin Moor

An incident free tow for me in pretty poor conditions, not quite so for Nelson though, he lost his nearside towing mirror on the A30 just inside the Cornish border, gave him one hell of a fright!

12.30am and we’re pulling up in the caravan area of Cornwall services, waking the dead as our cordless drills wind down the legs for the night.  Nelson and I toddle off in search of the Turpin machine before I bid him goodnight.

Inside the van I realise I’ve lost my ticket.  £18 it cost to park up overnight, with signs threatening a £100 fine if you’ve not paid! Back out I go into the howling wind and rain, and out I stayed for a full 15 mins, until by chance I found my sopping wet ticket to display on Trude’s dash.

At least my tears as I joined Herself in bed were only for missing Tali, and not because I had to pay another £18 parking fee.

Saturday 1 July

Took ages to drop off to sleep, what with still being alert after the tow and having overdosed on caffeine pretty late ( I had an iced latte in Taunton). Still awake at 7am though ready for Nelson and co to come round ours for a cuppa.





Some goodness is procured from the golden arches for breakfast and we kill time until 10.30am when we leave for site.

We’ve an allocated arrival slot of 11am to 1pm and are pulling into Perran Sands at bang on 11am. @Gailmcoops would be so impressed.  We’re given a green window hanger that proclaims “We’ve arrived and checked in” before being directed to a holding pen.  The system they’ve got is a golf cart escorts you one by one down onto the touring field in turn.

We watch on amused as a rather entitled driver of a motorhome completely loses his shit with staff.  Turns out he arrived rather early, parked up at the back of the holding pen and had a leisurely breakfast.  While they sat there munching on Granola and berries the holding pen filled up and formed a 5 wide queue.

He’s parked up at the back of this queue now and is insistent that everyone moves to let him through because “I was here before all these people!”  He’s turned puce now and everyone is laughing at him!

Before too long it’s our turn to follow the golf buggy down into the promised land.  Herself and I are nervous as it’s some time since we’ve been on a site this big, but initial impressions are good.  The pitches are huge and flat with grass cut short.

Setting up was difficult in the stiff breeze,  but at least we do not have the rain of last night to contend with.





This place is massive, but at least Coupons’ van isn’t too far away.  We didn’t do much today other than pop to Morrisons in Newquay for some provisions, and by 10pm we’re in bed with zzzz emanating through cracked open windows.

Sunday 2 July

What a kip!  I did an all nighter, not stirring until Herself’s alarm woke me at 6.30am.  She can turn that off as soon as he likes!

The morning was spent doing mostly nothing around the van.  Nursey and Mike popped down at 10am leaving Coupons in bed (though she insists she was awake and is making Nursey’s life hell for leaving her) and we wait around for Nelson and gang to get ready.

We’ve 5 dogs between us and people are jumping into the dunes to avoid us as we take the “Nature Boardwalk” up to their static and onto the complex to have a look around.  I must say though that I’m quite impressed with the place, everywhere is spotless and in good nick.

Myself and Mike take a seat outside holding onto the dogs while the others go into the arcade.  Herself comes to relieve me after a while and I walk into a world of neon lights and daylight robbery in the form of a cashless arcade!

I popped next door to have a look at the “Live Lounge”  where “Stevie” is on stage entertaining a handful of kids.  I go to get Beastie and Bwmps and they spend an hour or so terrorising “Stevie” with all the others.


I learn that Herself and Mike have retreated to a nearby “pub” and set off in pursuit finding them at a table outside “Surf Bay”.
  I  immediately regret ordering a Guinness. It didn’t look too clever when YTS barmaid poured it, but my gut feeling was confirmed on taking the first gulp!



The rest joined us a while later and Beastie was super impressed that Annie from the Seaside Squad came to see us at our table, and we think it was at this point that Bwmps fell in love.




I’m afraid it turned into a bit of a session, Nelson and Co went back to the van to try and get Bwmps to have a nap, but we stopped where we were enjoying a chat, we even had lunch which was surprisingly reasonable and nice.

Back in the touring field we’ve had a few more arrivals and Mike gives me a hand to erect our windbreaks.  He also gets volunteered to look after the dogs this evening.

Nursey and Coupons are up the “Live Lounge” early doors for eyes down and we join them just in time for a few hours of mayhem. 

Scanning the pumps my eyes rest on “Rattler” and I figure that at 6% it’ll go some way to easing the pain of being entertained by the Seaside Squad.



Beastie and Bwmps had a whale of a time, which to be honest is what it’s all about, and the reason for us coming here this year.


After this they have a game of House Bingo.  Beastie has her own dabber and impresses Coupons no end with her Bingo ability.




I take the mick, but honestly, we had a great night doing something we've not done for years and years on holiday.  Not since Nelson and Roids were kids themselves.

Supper is procured from Papa Johns on the way back to the touring area, and we attack the two flat boxes of round wholesome goodness like a pack of savages before turning in for the night, absolutely knackered.

Monday 3 July

I’m up at 6am after being greeted by the red “bog full” light.  Herself and her hangover are up at 6.30am to answer a phone call from Grumbles to let us know he’s setting off, before trudging back into the back bedroom to resume her recovery.

We’re not going far this morning as Grumbles is making his way down here. A bit of a conflab and it’s decided that we’ll pop down into Perranporth for a bit of a mooch.  Parked up, we make our way through the crowds, but it’s noisy and Gwawr gets spooked, dragging Herself to the other end in no time.  We’ve not been there long and Grumbles rings to say he’s 10 mins away, so Herself and I go back up to the prearranged meeting point and take him down to our van for a coffee.

He doesn’t look great tbh, but we put it down to the strain of the drive and maybe some low sugar levels. A coffee and some biscuits are thrown down his neck before we join the others at Seiners where they’re having a spot of lunch.Once checked in we return to our van for a chilled few hours before dropping him off to have an early night.

We head up once more to the Live Lounge for another great evening.




Tuesday 4 July

Early guest for breakfast this morning who was knocking our door at 5.55am!



By 8.30am we're dressed and walking the dogs through the dunes where Beastie finds a weed full of caterpillars.







I go down to pick up Grumbles.  He tells me he’s not slept that much and kept waking up with the sweats.  He’s not had breakfast either, except for a pot of Yogurt, but insists he’s feeling better today.

After a conflab we head into Newquay, somewhat fortunate to bag 3 car parking spaces at Manor car park.  We’re walking through Newquay when it starts to rain a bit and Grumbles tells Herself he’s starting to feel cold.  They head straight to Walkabout, but we all follow soon after.



Grumbles starts to shake, and we all assume his blood sugars are low again, getting some food inside him is a priority.  He doesn’t want anything from the menu so I pop out to buy him a sausage roll and an egg sarnie for Beastie while the others order off the menu.

By the time I get back he’s shaking uncontrollably and is unable to take a bite of his food.  I run (I did honestly) back to get Trude and thread my way through the no entries and pedestrian zones (with hazard lights flashing because that makes it OK, doesn’t it?) to collect Herself and Grumbles.

I think he needs hospital, but he won’t go.  He’s under a blanket in the back and shivering!  We put him to bed for a few hours, but he’s restless.  He says he thinks he’d be better off home, but home is 250 miles away.  He’s in a state, and in hindsight we should have called an ambulance, but make the decision to take him to hospital at 5pm.  He’s not a leg under him so gets carried to the car, and started being violently sick before we left site.

Roadworks on the A30 are a nightmare, but we eventually get him to hospital in Truro by 6pm.  11.30pm and it’s decided he’ll be admitted so Herself and I rush to Tesco and are rushing through the doors just before they close at midnight to get him sone PJs and a few things.

He’s in a bit of a state and we’re worried at we leave him for the night at 1am

Wednesday 5th July

After a restless and sleepless night we give up at 8am and get up to light a flame under the kettle.  Herself rings A&E and they say he’s just about to be transferred onto a ward and that he’s stable.

We are unable to get any further details as They can’t seem to find him on the ward, so Herself and I make tracks to Truro.  We’d not taken much notice last night of the parking fees, just swiped the debit card on exit, but today had a look at the parking charges.  The robbing gits!!



The relatively good news is that Grumbles appears to have a serious infection somewhere, but is responding well to super strength antibiotics.

Because of Grumbles’ condition, Roids decides to come down to us early, setting off mid afternoon instead of early evening.

We’ve no idea what the others did today, but on return we join them up the Live Lounge to relax watching the panto, and later the cabaret, attempting to wind down after a rather stressful 36 hours.

Both panto and cabaret featured pretty young women in boots, I hadn’t noticed at all, but am told by Herself that I’m not allowed to look.






One eye wouldn’t hurt though, would it?



Thursday 6th July

Herself spend another fruitless few hours attempting to get an update on Grumblkes’ condition.  Once again they don’t appear to be able to find him, which is concerning considering they’re supposed to be treating him!

Nelson’s got a swimming session booked for his lot and Roids joins them for the morning while Herself and I kill time and fret.

Just after lunch Roids joins us on our battle with the traffic into Truro.  Grumbles is looking a lot better today.  They’ve still not had the results of his scans but have mentioned a possible discharge tomorrow.



Back on site we get up to the Live Lounge to catch the end of the kids entertainment and the start of House Bingo.  This has to be experienced to be believed.  Just one game that lasts the best part of an hour, but the room gets whipped into a frenzy by a young man in a pink suit.

Following that was a balloon entertainer and then a male vocalist.  He was average at best.  Fair play to him though, it took some balls to stand on stage for over an hour claiming to be a vocalist without actually managing to hit a note!



It was while he was belting out (LOL) Summer Nights I came to the conclusion that John Travolta has absolutely nothing to worry about.

Friday 7 July

Herself made several attempts to contact the ward, each time the phone just rang out unanswered.  Eventually she gets an answer but it appears they can’t find him but promise a call back.

We wait, and wait, and wait.  Herself decides they could be forever and we just as well pop out for a bit.

Nelson pops out to Aztec in the hope of buying some replacement water pipes and let the kids have a nap in the car.  We descend into Perranporth in a convoy and each cough up £7 for an all day parking ticket.

Herself hangs back to try and contact the ward again while we ample on to have a quick look around the shops. We turn around and can see Herself approaching as fast as her knackered knee will allow.

We now know why they’ve had so much difficulty finding him or providing updates the last few days.  The hospital is full and Grumbles isn’t in a proper bay, he’s on a makeshift bed in front of a fire exit with no headboard saying his name and Dr. Turns out that anyone in that bed is referred to as “Exit” by the staff!

Anyway, with a smile Herself lets us know that “Exit” is being discharged in 2 hours, the diagnosis was a dose of Pneumonia!.  Happy to abort this visit to Perranporth though, and after a quick visit to Grumbles’ room to collect clothes for him to come out (he didn’t have any and was obviously confused when packing to come down) and a quick drink Herself and I set off once more to do battle with the traffic enroute to Truro.




Tesco first though to buy some clothes for him, and then fight for a space once more in the hospital car park.  We head to the discharge lounge as directed but he’s not there.  They say he’s in the other one on the next level down.

We can’t find it for love nor money, and staff don’t have scooby either!

We eventually find him after some time, but he’s not bothered about changing, just wanting to get out of the place, so walks through the grounds in his jim jams!



It transpires the rest of them have had a great day on the beach in the hot sunshine, taking it in turns to chase Bwmps along the vast expanse of sand and pour cold water over Roids as he tries to sunbathe!




Herself sits at the van with Grumbles until he’s ready to go back to his hotel, if he wants to go back for the night that it, while we head up to the Live Lounge for an evening of Wild West kids entertainment.







8.30pm and it’s time for the kids to go to bed with MBW (who has very kindly given Nelson a pass to stay out with Roids) just as Herself walks in having dropped Grumbles off at Seiners.



“Bottle of wine …. Now!” was the demand as we sat down to watch the adult part.  First was Carnival (cow boys in a different outfit) who were followed by a disco. 

Even so, a much less stressed Herself, Nelson, Roids and me had a very enjoyable evening getting sloshed and soaking up the atmos in the room.



Saturday 8 July

We’re woken by Roids early doors for his stuff from under our bed.  He’s heading back today, being back in work tomorrow.  But before that he has an appointment in Neath at 2pm for a tattoo!  We wave him off before hitting the pillows for a bit more kip.

We go down to collect Grumbles 10.15, he’s sat on the wall in the sunshine enjoying the view.  He didn’t feel up to breakfast there this morning, lacking in confidence somewhat, which is understandable, and breakfasts with us back in the awning.

We have a quiet morning, but he insists he wants to go out.  The kids are going to The Lost Gardens of Heligan, but we give that a swerve as it’ll be too much.

We decide on Charlestown, it’s quite low key there and is a pretty little harbour.  Sarnav has a brain fart enroute and we end up doing a 10 mile detour.

We take a wander, soaking up the views before taking a table quayside for refreshments and then making our way back up the hill to stop for an ice-cream.









The row of craft shops gets our attention before jumping in the car and heading back to site.  We head straight to The Surflounge where we enjoy our evening meal under the canopy outside before calling in on Nursey’s static for an evening of chat and raiding Coupon’s chocolate stash.

Nelson & Co have been up the Live Lounge where it appears that Nelson and Beastie have been up on stage partaking in one of the games that’s designed to make the parent look like a div!



9pm and Grumbles is on his chin straps, so gets dropped off at Seiners before Herself and I also have an early night.

Sunday 9 July

Grumbles is collected at the allotted 10.15am, a time at which he’s had time to digest his breakfast, and we doss around the awning for a few hours deciding what to do for the day.

Nelson and MBW are staying on site today so that Beastie and Bwmps can partake in some of the daytime activities.  It transpired they were the only family in the Live Lounge so had the full attention of the Seaside Squad!




We made tracks south again towards Mevagissey.  It was busy though, but we enjoyed a mooch before walking along the harbour to take a seat outside a rather overpriced, and frankly quite shit, trailer pretending to be an upmarket coffee shop!







The views were good though, and it was a little suntrap out of the stiff breeze.

Back on site we have a quick scrub up and head up to the Live Lounge.  Grumbles isn’t happy with the noise levels, but smiles on watching Beastie and Bwmps enjoy the show being put on by Rory and George tonight.

Once they’d done their stuff the Jurassic Park bit starts and to our surprise Beastie gets called up onto stage to take part in the game.  She nailed it, and got the biggest cheer of the night so far!



8.30pm and Herself says she’s taking Grumbles back to our van. MBW has already taken a tired Bwmps back and Nelson leaves with Beastie, leaving just myself, Nursey and Coupons to have a game of House Bingo!

I’ve not long blown the froth off a fresh pint when Herself comes rushing back into the room and towards out table.

“You’ve got to come now!”

I didn’t wait to enquire why, and followed a flapping Herself thinking that Grumbles had had a turn again.  Herself is in a state and I eventually get out of her that the dogs have trashed the caravan.

Something had spooked them, they’re usually quite calm but have been on edge since “The Clampits” pitched up opposite got some new arrivals.  The window blind is wrecked and they’ve also chewed the bottom rubber pulling away from the caravan body and mastic seal.

The Remis is carefully removed and it’s quickly established that it’s way beyond being salvageable, but with a bit of patience the window seals are persuaded back into place and the window itself is fully operational.



We feel sick.

Monday  10 July

Today is Herself’s birthday and I wake at 8am in a sweaty panic on account of the fact I’ve not got a card.  I’m also on the hunt for a birthday cake, banners  and some candles, but exit the site shop with just a card.

Down into Perranporth where the big Co-op is also severely lacking in birthday cakes and banners but has candles.  The bakery isn’t open so a coffee cake and a vanilla sponge will have to do – along with 2 bottles of their best Champagne.

Back on site and Nelson, MBW, Beastie and Bwmps are all sat up front and Herself is surrounded by discarded envelopes and gift bags.  I go into the bedroom pretending to retrieve the card from a drawer while scribbling something suitable on it.

Grumbles gets collected and Coupons and Co come down for breakfast, also bearing gifts.  Much tea and coffee is consumed while we sit out an awful spell of weather, until at 2pm we head just up the road to Healey’s Cider Farm.  This place has changed over the years and is now a far cry from the place we first visited in 1994.

We duck out of paying £16 each for guided tours and a tractor ride, deciding that a walk around the farm animals for free would suffice.






Looking at a shire horse, a pig and some goats didn’t take long and we take a few tables under a shelter for refreshments.

Heading for the Rattler Bar, Mike and I can’t find the entrance, in the end diving in through the exit as someone else comes out.  We stand in front of the “Pour your own pint” taps studying the instructions.

We’re approached by a young man in a blue polo shirt emblazoned with a huge Healey’s embroidery on his chest.  I assume he works here despite looking like he only stopped shitting yellow a few months back!

“Can I help you?”

“Yes, I’d like a few pints please.”

Showing him 3 paper pint cups.

“Can I see your badge?”

“What badge?”

“This area is for paying customers only.”

“I was going to pay, I didn’t expect the cider for free.”

“But this area is for paying customers only, the ones who paid to do the tour.”

“So, can I buy a pint?”

“Yes, in the restaurant over there.”

“So I can’t buy a pint here?”

“Well, yes you can, but you should be over there.”

“Good, so I can pour some pints here then?”

“But you may not be able to get out after.”

I walk towards the screens and card readers.

“You need to ……..”

“I think I can work it out myself shag.”

Holding pints of freshly poured cider we arrive at the exit gate that won’t let you out without a wristband.  Mike fiddles with the latch, it clicks and we’re free, joining the others under the canopy to regale our tale of shame.



Back to site for a quick scrub up and we’re heading out for a birthday celebration at Bowgies in West Pentire.  We’re escorted to our table and warned on the way we are not permitted to approach the bar area, instead you either place your order off your smart phone, an ipad if they have one or use one of the huge touchscreens in the lobby.

What a palava!

Food came out and it was good.  All hot and tasty and huge portions.  Beastie and Bwmps were also on best behaviour too, which made for a relaxing occasion, Coupons and Grumbles less so as they moaned about tech interfering with the ordering experience!





Nelson decides to take the lead back to site in the pouring rain, and we can only assume his satnav had a brainfart as Trude’s sides were touching the hedge for most of the (shorter) journey.

Beastie helps Herself put the candles on the cake before we disturb the site with a rousing rendition of “Penbwydd hapus i ti”.

Grumbles declares he’s ready to be dropped off at 9pm and Coupons & Co retreat to their static at the same time.  Herself and I pop round to have a late night chat while I raid Nelson’s Rattler stash from his coolbox while the wind and rain outside do their very best to destroy awnings on site.

Tuesday 11 July

Bog full when I get up at 7.30am, and it would appear that everything else that should be empty is also full, and what should be full is empty, so I set about doing the outside chores while Herself sleeps off the Champagne that she threw down her neck last night.

10am and she’s stirred so we can go down to help Grumbles check out.  We arrive at Seiners and he’s already done so, sat waiting for us to tell us he needs Petrol.

I get out to guide him out of the very tight car park, where he very nearly gave his Juke and a Mini a new go faster stripe down the side before mowing me down!

Back on side Herself and I much on bacon butties, Grumbles has a coffee and takes his meds.  He was planning to leave later this afternoon, but the weather’s not great and a discussion about traffic sees him getting twitchy.  We’re waving him off by noon as he sets off home under his own steam.  We’re not entirely happy but he’s insistent, and it’s quite remarkable that he’s doing so just 6 days after being admitted to hospital with Pneumonia!

Time to do a job I’ve been putting off for a few days.  Before coming down Nelson had the carpet in his van ripped out and a lino fitted.  Very nice it looks too, the only problem being that the bloke who fitted it also sliced through two water pipes!  All Beastie’s clothes got a soaking and Nelson is fed up of filling his Aquaroll.

Nelson had got the pipes and fittings a few days back from Aztec so we took a deep breath and started slicing.  Let’s just say it was a fiddle, but at the time of typing this the joints are holding!!

Herself gets a wash on up the site launderette to keep her mind busy while I babysit Bwmps having his late morning nap.  This may have also involved me having a late morning nap as I laid there and watched him.

Nursey and Mike take Coupons to Falmouth for some retail therapy while we spend the day on site.

The sun comes out and our offer of a BBQ at ours is accepted by all so a quick dash to Asda (when I say quick I mean a slow crawl through traffic) for stuff to throw on the Weber.  By the time we get back the sun has been replaces by sporadic heavy showers, so an awning party it is!



Late on we take the dogs over the dunes for a good stretch (them and us) and on return we discover what spooked the dogs the other night.  As we approach our van Gwawr starts to get unsettled.  Herself sees it and I’m instructed to hold her tight.

It appears that Clampit Jnr (the latest arrival on site) has himself an air pistol and is firing it into the separating fence between pitches, the noise of the firing and embedding sending Gwawr into a frenzy!  Why on earth would anyone think it’s OK to have and actually fire a weapon on a campsite?

Twat!!!

Wednesday 12 July

Up quite early to go into Truro with Nelson.  He’s ordered new towing mirrors from Euro Car Parts and wants to collect early doors to avoid the traffic (LOL).

A quick breakfast back on site and we all head out to do battle with the A30 once more, heading west to Lands End.  1 ¾ hrs it took, but coasting into Sennen felt like coming home to Herself and I, and we realised we’ve missed it this year.

Through the gate into Lands End and the goon in a yellow vest is directing me to the overflow field back in the direction of Penzance.  I spot some spaces in the car park over his shoulder, so roundly ignore him and press the handbrake button in one of them.  He wasn’t impressed.

Lands End have a new parking system this year, gone have the all day tickets from the booth, instead a bank of payment machines that gives you a range of options that are all more expensive than this time last year.

We can see a band of rain off shore so head straight for the hotel bar to take cover with a pint of Korev for company.  Thankfully it hits land at Cape Cornwall, missing us completely.  Nelson & Co do the Wallace & Grommet thing, I take Coupons around the gift shops and the others take an outside table looking over to Longships gulping in the sea air.






Time to go, and we’re 5 mins until the next price band kicks in, so rush to exit the place before we’re hit with a £100 fine.  We’ve just passed to APNR camera and I go to put on my prescription sun glasses but can’t find them.  We stop and search the car – nowt.  I’ve left them somewhere, and we have to turn around to find them.

We park up close to where we were parked and can’t see them.  I retrace my steps and also ask at the bar and reception.  Still nothing.  We now have to pay another £6 for the time we’ve been in there looking and to rub salt into the wound, as I approach Trude Herself is pointing at the ground where a car has vacated a space.



I pick up the mangled frame and smashed lenses, and we exit in silence.

The others went on while we returned.  Nursey was going to call in Penzance, but it was closing down for the day so pressed onto St Ives for a bag of chips on the quayside.  Nelson has gone straight back to site for kids entertainment, and we stopped briefly at Boots in Hayle for me to procure some el-cheapo sunnies.

We take the dogs for a good walk through the dunes, virtually circling the entire site before calling in on the beach bar (why they call it a beach bar when the beach is ½ mile away I’ve yet to work out) to throw some amber nectar down our necks.  Pappa John’s provides supper before we turn in for the day.


Disaster strikes again though.  I get a message from Nelson. The front bench in his van has collapsed.  I've had a few to drink though, and am in no fit state to do anything about it this evening.



Thursday 13 July

A morning spent on site today.  Beastie is being taken up to the Live Lounge for some magic based activity, one which they think she’ll enjoy more if Bwmps is out of the way.  The timing of the activity coincides with Bwmps’ time for a morning nap. Dats is on babysitting duty so he gets strapped into his pushchair and we go off for a wander.

We call in on Coupons before continuing up to the central area.  Still no sleep in him and he’s singing along to himself being wheeled about in the sunshine, so we stop to share a bacon roll and an iced latte outside the on site supermarket.




Onwards we go, and Dats win eventually, I always do, and he’s in the land of nod by the time I meet Herself coming out from the dunes with the dogs.



Nelson and MBW are staying on site for a while longer so Beastie and Bwmps can spend some time with the Seaside Squad, but the rest of us head into Newquay.

Finding a parking spot on the west of the town proved impossible with height barriers set at 2m at car park entrances.  Trude with a roofbox being a bit taller than that, but spaces were plentiful at the Mount.

By the time we’re taking an outside table at The Fort Inn on the other side of town Coupons’ wheelchair is groaning under the weight of her purchases.  Herself also scored a new purse for herself.

With a view of the harbour below, and 3 of Newquay’s beaches over the water we are in no rush to go anywhere else and spend a pleasant few hours sat soaking up the sunshine.



Walking back through town we bump into Nelson & Co, with both Beastie and Bwmps sporting a Hena tattoo each.




Back on site, and we’re ready for an evening out.  Nelson and MBW are taking Beastie and Bwmps back to the Live Lounge for the kids entertainment and to empty all our arcade cards of credit, while the rest of us take a table under the canopy outside the Beach Bar once more.





It turned into a bit of a session for Herself and I, and we’re still “out out” as they are shutting up shop for the night.



Friday 14 July

We’re woken to the van being rocked by the wind and rain lashing at the windows.  It appears that the forecast for gale force winds and heavy rain was bang on.  For good measure they’re also promising a few thunderstorms at some point.


Any plans of dropping the awnings this morning are dispensed with as Herself takes herself and her cold back to bed and Beastie and Bwmps head on up to the Surf Bar restaurant for breakfast with the Seaside Squad.

We sit it out, starting to pack up the contents of the awning resigned to packing it away soaking wet later on.

There was promise of a 2 hour break in the rain, but the wind was due to continue.  We need wind to dry the canvas.  The weather worked in our favour, and by some miracle we get the two awnings dropped dry and packed away without incident.



The others, except Mike, are heading up to the Live Lounge for one last blast before emptying the play cards in the arcade.  Beastie takes the opportunity to have a lift with Coupons up the hill on the power assisted wheelchair.



Herself and I head over to Surf Bay where we have a dog friendly table reserved to get an evening meal down our necks before the long night ahead.


We return to the touring area, carry out our final flight checks and we’re ready for the off at 8.30pm and hear on the news that the A30 is closed all weekend from Chiverton to Charland Cross.
  This means a diversion right at the start of our journey skirting Newquay and through Quintrell Downs.


Apart from that out tow home was incident free, and I’m glad we decided to come home tonight during a lull in the winds, rather than tomorrow with another weather warning in place.

Both rigs were faultless and I’m pulling up outside Home is Where You Drag it Towers at 1.30am, dropping Herself and the dogs off, before heading up the road to the lay bye outside Coupons’ house to get my head down for the night.

Saturday 15 July

I wake at 8am with a groggy head and decide to have some more shut eye, only to be woken again by my phone.  Herself asking if I’m Ok having been trying to message me for a few hours!

Luckily there’s now space on the extra wide pavement outside our house and I bump Trude and the van up onto there to begin the emptying process.  The Captain clears the drive access and the van’s inched back in and legs wound down until next time.



Herself and I weren't in the best frame of mind leaving for this holiday, and Herself cried on and off for most of the journey down grieving for Tali.  We both had our moments down there too, thinking "Tali's love this ..... Tali'd love that ......"  Then the setbacks started.  grumbles arrived unwell, got worse and admitted to Hospital, wiping out most of the first week for him, Herself and I. Nelson's water pipes issue, then we had the dog incident with the blind, then it was me losing and crushing my glasses and the collapsing bed!

Fair to say it was a trying break at times, but you know, we still had a good time.  Beastie and Bwmps thoroughly enjoyed, as did Coupons and Nursey (not so sure about Mike) having them around to spoil 24/7.

I'll be honest, Herself and I were dreading spending time on a Haven site, but it was great.  Huge pitches, no tripping electrics, no overflowing bins, and the toilet blocks were cleaned continually throughout the day, and I mean continually with an ever present attendant.

You have to accept that these places exist to extract money from you, but that said out of all the establishments on site we used, the only one that disappointed was Slim Chickens, where the soggy lumps of grease went straight into Gwen!

Looking back, we paid the same for our pitch that we would have on a Caravan Club site, and got so much more for our money.  Would we go back?  Yes in an instant, but wouldn't like to be there during peak holiday season though.