My random ramblings about time spent in our caravan and the time spent wishing we were in our caravan. Touring with a caravan is something you either 'Get' or you 'Don't get.' There is no middle ground.
When not locked down we always try and have a short break a few weeks after Christmas, and with a trip to Devizes planned, Herself and I had leave booked. However, Grumbles' grief is still a little raw and Herself, understandably so, was reluctant to leave him home alone for a few nights.
Our van is big, but would be a little cramped without awning space that the warmer months afford. Herself asks if he'd like to go away for a few nights, he jumps at the opportunity. It's now that all the pieces start to fall together and I realise that Herself has been plotting.
"Coupons has a significant birthday coming up in a few weeks, why don't we take her away too?
Air BnB to the rescue and we have a house booked that's perched on the top of a cliff between Plymouth and Looe in Downderry.
Thursday 3 February
We're up early. Coupons is on the phone. She's been fighting an infection all week and last night had been up ill all night. This isn't looking good. I throw some clothes on and pop up to see what's what.
While up there I get a call from the caretaker saying the house will be ready for us by 11am so we need not wait until 4pm to arrive.
This was at 10am and I didn't have the heart to tell her that we were 3 1/2 to 4 hours away and the chances of us travelling were 50/50 at that point.
Thankfully after a scrap of food Coupons was feeling better and by 10.45 we're all loaded up and ready to roll.
Roads are congestion free, and it's an unusual feeling for us to be doing a longer journey at a faster speed without having to drag 1800kg behind us. A short comfort break at Taunton Dean for me and my 54 year old male bladder is required and we're crossing the Tamar into Kernow just after 2pm.
I'd been a little concerned about 1 bad review, and accompanying photos, of the property, but my fears were unfounded. One can only assume it to be malicious.
With bags unpacked we have a brew looking out of the patio doors over the garden to the ocean.
With us all getting hungry, and no ingredients to throw a meal together we head over to the pub next door, the Inn on the Shore, for an evening meal.
Coupons has one of these electrically assisted wheel chairs, I've not pushed her in it before, and the clutch mechanism takes a bit of getting used to.
She pulled a wheelie up the gravel driveway. Observers may have thought I was keen to throw a pint down my neck or something.
I was, and the first one had vanished before we'd had time to peruse the menu (which consisted of just 4 choices!!). Still, the food was nice and it filled a hole.
The pub was filling up, and just as we're finishing a fight broke out in the bar. A fight mind. I've not seen a fight in a pub for quite some time. Mind you one of the blokes needs to have a word with himself. Rather than throw some punches like a real man he took it upon himself to swing the other bloke around by his hair, fighting girl stylee!!
Back at the house I light the fire and we settle down, in our temporary home in Cornwall to watch a movie set and filmed in Cornwall.
Not a late one tonight.
Friday 4 February
Unsurprisingly after our early night I'm sat up in bed, wide awake, well before the sparrows have started farting, looking out through our bedroom French doors willing it to get light.
In the silence, barr for Herself's snoring, I sit alone with my thoughts, and a bit of finger swiping tells me the next bit of land in a straight line from here is the British Virgin Islands.
I get up and take a mug of tea down to the bottom of the garden, taking in the view and listening to the waves crashing on the beach below. (Video below - if you're reading this on your phone you wont see the link)
With breakfast out of the way, and the sun breaking through we load up Vera and head out for the day. First stop is Seaton, where we join the rest of east Cornwall in chucking a ball for the dogs to chase on the shingle under a weak watery sun.
Well, Grumbles and I did. Herself and Coupons observed tucked away from the wind in Vera. Once we're satisfied they've burned off enough energy we point Vera's nose towards Looe.
Rolling into town we find a parking spot in East Looe a lot easier than we would have in just a few months time. We set off for a mooch. It's not too bad, even given this is a tourist seaside town in mid winter, I'd estimate about 70% of the shops are open.
Grumbles has had a really bad time of late. Lost his wife back in October and then his dog just after Christmas. But because I'm on wheelchair duty with coupons he's got Tali on a lead. He's really enjoying it, and Tali is behaving for him a lot better than he does for either Herself and I. Maybe it's got something to do with Grumbles being willing to stop and wait every time Tali fancies having a sniff or a pee against something.
We make our way passed the Lifeboat towards the beach with the intention of letting the dogs have a run and a swim while coupons and Grumbles observed from the benches catching the sun. The sign telling us that dogs are banned all year round puts pay to that idea, so we make do with catching some vitamin D while watching over a near deserted beach.
There's a gallery in the old lifeboat station and I wheel Coupons over for a nose. She likes crafty type things. She's quite taken with a painting on canvas, no bigger than a coaster. The assistant rocks up offering to help and retrieves it out of the cabinet for closer inspection. Coupons enquires how much it was and I tense up. The old biddy casually announces that Coupons would have change of 5p from a £50 note. Coupons instantly recoils and drops the canvas and icckle easel as if they are hot coals.
We left without looking at anything else.
Time for refreshments, and we thread our way through the narrow streets and alleyways towards the welcoming doors of The Ship Inn with a big sign outside saying "Dogs Welcome". Taking a table tucked out of the way we settle down for some refreshments and I get reacquainted with an old friend.
I loves a pint of Korev I do, even have the hat to go with it.
With Looe done we pile back into Vera, threading through the lanes we give Polperro a swerve for today, mainly due to the trams not running and Herself's knee not being up to the traipse down into the village. We're heading towards Fowey, and that involves a ferry ride. Somehow I don't feel as if I've been on a holiday to the south coast unless I've crossed a river on a ferry.
The crossing on the Bodinnick Ferry sees us rolling into a deserted Fowey. The car park is empty, not a soul taking up space on the pavements and the shops within view are closed. We didn't stop, instead heading north east back towards Liskeard.
Liskeard left us unimpressed. It may have had something to do with you needed the agility of a mountain goat to negotiate their high street. They did have plenty of estate agents and charity shops though. Coupons stocked up on her birthday card stash for home - just incase, and we picked up provisions for our evening meal in the Co-op.
It wasn't all plain sailing though. The electric assist motor on Coupon's chariot is a pig to attach securely. That and it doesn't like bumps much. Three times it jumped out of its mounting in the 30 mins we were in Liskeard, and I'm embarrassed to say that on the last occasion while I'm sitting on the pavement trying to reattach it an elderly couple came over to me full of concern. They thought I'd fallen!!
Back at the house, tea gets put in the oven and we settle down for the evening with the TV and a roaring fire for company.
Saturday 5 Feb
We wake to bad news. Messages tell us that Roids had a funny turn in the night, shivering uncontrollably and struggling to breath, and has tested positive for the Rona. It's a worrying few hours until we can get in contact and he assures us he's a little better now, albeit down with what feels like a very bad case of manflu.
I take the dogs out onto the clifftop to sort them selves out. Herself watches on from the relative comfort of our balcony.
I need to put the record straight though, for fear of retribution. She was out here at 2am this morning because Gwawr needed to answer the call of nature.
It's bit blowy today. Come to think of it, it's always blowy in Cornwall, even in the heights of summer, so today, in February, Grumbles is grumbling about the cold even before he's ventured outside the heated confines of West Yardley House. Coupons' condition is also playing up and she can't put her foot the floor to support weight, so today will be all about a drive out more than anything else.
We cross country until we hit the A30 near Bodmin and hang a left, and keep going heading towards mine and Herself's most favourite place on earth.
The sun is out as we approach Penzance and coming over the rise St Michaels Mount looks majestic in Penzance Bay. After a brief toilet stop in Marazion I take the coast road passed Penzance harbour, through Newlyn and then the jaw dropping Mousehole before picking back up on the A30.
Rolling into Lands End at just before 2pm the sun has done a runner, and unlike summer the car park is near deserted and FREE.
With Coupons loaded into her chariot and the dogs clipped on we lower our heads into the wind to make any forward progress. Everything is closed. The food outlets, the attractions, and even the shopping village, so we head passed the lot towards the area by the sign to take in the view of Longships and in the distance through the haze the Isles of Scilly.
It's blowy, very blowy and Grumbles is protesting (he is 82 though mind). I suggest heading for the shelter of the bar in the hotel. Herself and I had a bit of a falling out about whether dogs were allowed inside or not, but I was right for a change and we take a window side seat enjoying the view once more but in an environment both Coupons and Grumbles were much happier with.
I could have stopped a lot longer, but being Des there's only so long you can make a single pint of Korev last, so we make tracks to show the olds a little more of this area that Herself and I love so much.
We drop down into Sennen Cove, with the cove looking no less breath-taking than in summer, albeit with far fewer grockles packing the place out. Some hardy souls are even sitting at the outside tables at the Old Success! We park up near the harbour, and with little interest in getting out demonstrated, we sit and watch waves breaking on the rocks and people getting sandblasted in the distance on the beach.
We drive on, first passing Lands End Airport and then through St Just and down to Cape Cornwall. Again, no interest is shown in actually getting out from the back seat. I venture to open my door and lose a few fingernails clinging onto it, so didn't get out either to Tali and Gwawr's dismay.
Time is now getting on, and we head back up country. For the length of the A30 I'm on my own as snoring echoes all around me as we munch up the miles. We get to Bodmin and when the snoring ceases debate ensues as to whether to have food before going back or grab some chips to take back.
No one can make their minds up so I say that if we find a nice looking pub en route we'd stop, otherwise chips it is.
We're nearly back at the house when I swing into the car park of The Copley Arms. It's a lovely looking establishment but Coupons chirps up "The food is rubbish here." My jaw drops, the she explains that she's been here 8 months back while on holiday with Sis and Bro in Law, and they'd sent their food back.
I'm now resigned to chips, and not enthralled by the idea either. In the darkness we thread our way under the trees into Seaton, when like a mirage in the desert, the twinkly lights of a pub gazebo light up my face.
I have to say, The Smugglers was a bit of a find. All our meals were superb, the service was very friendly and no fights broke out while we were eating. Now many establishments claim to be dog friendly, but how many can say they are DOG FRIENDLY?
This place even has a Doggy Menu!!
Sunday 6 February
Bit of a lie in this morning, but looking out of the balcony it's a bit blowy out there again and the Channel is looking decidedly choppy.
I'm all for a bit of fresh air and open the French doors onto our balcony wide open to take in the view and gulp in a few lung fulls of sea air to kick off the day. (Video below - if you're reading this on your phone you won't see the link)
Apparently this is unreasonable behaviour according to herself. My enthusiasm for fresh air and a brisk breeze isn't quite matched by Herself, who is soaking wet having just stepped out of the en-suite shower!! With my tail firmly between my legs I'm making my way down the stairs and clock a nutter on an ironing board and a bedsheet making his way to Venezuela.
He turned back round pretty sharpish, no doubt having come to the conclusion it would be far less risky to have a joking bacon sandwich in the Vegan cafe by the beach.
After a lazy morning watching waves through the windows we head off out for the afternoon. We're heading to the north coast and I'm sure I know the way. TomTom throws a swerve ball and I foolishly follow it!! A white Transit hurtling along the lane towards us very nearly ensured we didn't make it out for the day. I swore at the driver. I swore at the driver a lot!!
Dropping down into Padstow we bag a parking space next to the harbour and set off for a mooch, doing a little gift shopping in the few shops that were open before taking refuge under a patio heater at the Old Ship Hotel for refreshments.
By the time we're done here it's 2.45pm and Herself announces that she's still not got anything for Beastie and Bwmps, and that we'll have to go to Newquay. On a good day Newquay is 35 mins away, and we.ve still got to get back to Vera, load everyone in and Coupons' chariot as well. Today the road is slippy with a deadly combination of surface water and cow shit, the headlands are shrouded in good old Cornish mizzle and it's a Sunday, which means what shops were open would be closing up by 4pm.
I'm hurtling along the B3276 as it hugs the coast and as we lose height each time the beauty of the bays comes into view as we fly through on our mission. Coupons hadn't been to Porthcothan, Pentire Steps, Bedruthan, Watergate Bay or Porth before. She has now, but how much she actually caught is debatable.
Cruising through Newquay we see it's quite busy but park up on Fore St, hitting no less than 4 surfie shops in the short 15 mins before they slam down the shutters. Herself's, Coupons' and Grumbles' cards get a hammering before we're allowed to declare that both Beastie and Bwmps are sorted.
We dive into the Sailors Arms for a quick drink while discussing what we are doing about tea. Herself's knackered knee is way beyond a glass of lager, so I do the decent thing and get her some proper pain relief in the shape of a large chilled Sauvignon blanc. I'm Des, so pout with a Coke Zero!
A phone call to The Smugglers confirms their kitchen is open until 7.30pm and for a Brucie bonus so is their Carvery (for Coupons). We're just losing the light as we pull up outside and take our seats for a feast once more.
Coupons had a small carvery, Herself a Fisherman's Pie, Grumbles had Cod and chips, and I went for the light option of their Ultimate Burger!
Back at the house we watch Captain Ron with a tin of Quality Street for company until we're all on our chin straps and call it a day.
Monday 7 January
We've got to be out of the house by 10am. Herself and I overestimated the time we'd need to break camp being used to packing away a caravan and awning before being able to leave. We're loaded up having had a light breakfast and are on the road out of Downderry by 8.45am.
Easy, if boring spin home, letting cruise control do the work, and we're pulling up outside 'Home is where you drag it Towers' some 211 miles and 3 1/2 hours later.
Nice weekend away, and the house was lovely (especially the views), but both Herself and I wished we were away in the caravan.
