Monday, 7 May 2012

What goes on tour, stays on tour!

Thanks to Abergavenny RFC our end of season tour was rescued. Our under 16s side was invited up to play over the weekend, and they had managed to find a campsite that not only had room, but were willing to accommodate us for the weekend (Brave people!)

On Friday we were all loaded and ready to set off by 11.15am, so there seemed little point in hanging around.  Mandy coped well with the tow over the Heads of the Valleys road and we pulled onto the very nice Blossom Caravan Park just outside Abergavenny just before 1pm.

The area had seen some heavy rain and the pitch was somewhat moist, but the area drained quite well and soon dried up a bit.  Set up in no time we has a spot of lunch and watched the others arrive in a trickle.

Before we knew it, beer o clock had arrived.  The boys took themselves off down to the local golf club for a drink and a game of pool (it also helped to keep them out of trouble on camp).

Saturday morning arrived, and after breakfast cooked on my new toy, it was time to make out way down to Abergavenny for the rugby.  We were scheduled to play Abergavenny, Usk and a Spanish side today.

Now, it was only a mile and a half to the ground from the site, and we travelled in convoy.  Over an hour later there is still no sign of one family and people are starting to get a bit concerned.  They arrive over an hour later, and the driver is stood talking to myself and Mr Shag, explaining where he has been.  He had been everywhere!  Mr Shag quips "Oh, so at least you know you way round now then!" and we burst out laughing, but cannot stop.  Mr TomTom doesn't really see the funny side, and that makes it worse!!  Tears were rolling down cheeks! I still don't think he knows why we were laughing!

We narrowly lost to Abergavenny in the first game (although we later found out that they had not played by the rules and had a considerable contingent of overage players in their starting line up) but comfortably beat both Usk and the Pedros!

By half time against the Pedros we were out of sight.  Our coach decides to mix it up a bit, moving backs into the second row and props out onto the wing.  The prop out on the right wing was getting a lot of ball, and one of the regular backs fancied a run and moved to go outside said prop saying "I'll go out here, you move in."  The response will go down in folk law.  Scowling, he simply said "Oi, f@@k off! I'M on the f@@c@@g wing!"

With the rugby over with for the day we adjourned into the rugby club, and it was 'Party Time' and boy what a blast it was.

While the boys were still getting showered, our coach decided to liven things up for the parents with a game of buzz.  Well, those of you that know me personally will know that I am a bit deaf, and with hindsight, perhaps me playing buzz was not such a good idea.  I could not hear what was going on so was guessing what numbers were being shouted.  In the five mins I was playing I got more fingers than a girl from Merthyr on a Saturday night when her luck is in!!

It's at this point that I may have to seriously reconsider the status of my friendship with Mr Shag.  He appeared to revel in his role as 'Mr Squealer' and continually dobbed me in.  It's lucky I love him, or he'd be demoted to being an 'aquaintance' by now!

Anyway, 2 pints of 1664 in 5 mins later, and I have a bit of a buzz on myself!

Amongst the din, we hear shouts of down down down! Turning around we are greeted with the sight of our 16s necking pints of whatever.  It was a great night.  We may not have behaved, but we had a blast, and as the title says 'What goes on tour, stays on tour!'

Sunday morning arrives, and most people are either still pissed from Saturday or sporting tremendous hangovers.  Monmouth is our destination this morning with a game arranged against their 16s.

On arrival we were greeted to Monmouth already warming up and looking really up for it.  We on the other hand are having trouble just stopping the boys from chucking their guts up over the field!

I know  it sounds unsportsmanlike, but the clown with the whistle really did us no favours and ensures that HIS side would not be beaten by this pack of Welshies from West Wales.

To be fair to Monmouth, they pushed the boat out in the club after the game.  Chicken curry was laid on and we had a good old knees up.  Ever the consmate professional, our coach insisted on boat races....... Like as if the boys needed a good drink after last night!

Back to the campsite for the rest of the day (and night) drinking around BBQ and campfires late into the night.  Some of the boys climbed to the top of one of the nearby mountains, whilst others were content to cause trouble on site.

This was a rugby tour, and the above is an edited version.  You will note there is no mention of boys Scanning the Visa in Bailey Park, or fights outside the club house, or upsetting the local gentry at the local golf club, or trussing someone up in gaffer tape and threatening to take them up the mountain and rape them, or even pinching someones clothes and towel in the shower block so they have to walk back to the tent naked!

No! And that's because.............


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