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Saturday 5 July 2014

Cornwall 2014 (Part 2)

Wednesday 2 July

Once again we wake to clear blue skies and bright sunshine.  The dogs are in holiday mode and are also tired so don't start bothering us until after 9am.  Can't be arsed to walk them this morning so load them up into Miranda and take them to the cliff top field at Sennen for them to have  a run around while I soak up the view.

Returning to site everyone else is up and tucking into bowls of cereal.  My bottom lip starts to quiver as there is no sign of any bacon being cooked anywhere.  Herself does however come to the rescue and present me with a plateful of freshly cooked Pain au Chocolat.

While loading up the car for the day I step on the peg we use to tie out the dogs and I think there are a few kids playing on the playground over at Lands End that have learnt a few new swear words now.

We have plans for a big day out again.

First off we head for the North Cliffs area to walk a stretch of the SW coastal path at Hells Mouth.  The views are spectacular and I'll let the pictures do the talking.




I am already limping after this morning's peg incident, with my right foot throbbing like a blind cobbler's thumb, but as I hobble up the path to the view point I slam my left foot (only wearing a pair of sandals for protection)  into an exposed root and crush 3 of my pinkies into submission.  I also manage to 'jar' myself trying not to fall and my right shoulder is also now giving me grief.

Bravely I struggle on to the top trying not to grimace too much at the passing walkers, but am glad I make the effort as the views from the high point of the cliffs is breathtaking.  We make a 180 degree turn and head back down.

Thwack!!  I slam my right foot into the very same root on the way back down and am now close to crying.   For some reason Herself finds this very amusing and is doubled over laughing at my misfortune.  It's nice to be loved.

I point Miranda in the direction of Perranporth, where we park up and take a look around the place browsing in the shops. We buy a shedding comb for Cerys and I buy a new flag pole to replace the one that snapped in the winds down here last year.


It is baking hot and Herself announces that everyone is thirsty and hungry, so we jump into Miranda and make out way to West Pentire and The Bowgie Inn.

We get a cracking table overlooking the beach and sent in Ronnie and Roids in to get some drinks and bring out a menu.  They have the drinks but the place does not start serving food until 5pm which is over 90 mins off.



We finish off our drinks and make our way to Holywell Bay and it's funpark.  Pulling into the car park at 4:15 we are greeted by a sign announcing that the close at 4:30! Ronnie runs off to get some tokens and they at least manage to have a go on the Go Karts before it shuts down.





Back over to Bowgies for food before hitting the A30 back to site where we relax for the evening watching the sun set over the Atlantic.


Though it has to be said that Ronnie got by far the better shots having made the effort to go down to Lands End.


Nos da

Thursday 3 July

I'd gone to bed quite early last night wanting to escape the nagging pains in my feet, so woke quite early this morning at 8:30am.  Leaving everyone else in their pits load the dogs into the boot and take up my favorite spot on top of the cliffs to welcome the start of a new day.  I take some time to inspect the damage I have done to my feet.  The sole of my right foot feels like I've stood on a stingray and a decent sized bruise is forming while two of the pinkies on my left foot are double the size they should be and are the colour of a glass of Vimto.

We really have been lucky so far with the weather, and over breakfast we decide to head on over to Lamorna Cove to launch the Kayak.  I'd read on the internet that the cove had suffered some damage in the winter storms, but nothing could have prepared me for the sight that greeted me as we rounded the last bend.  The sea wall is all but vanished, caput, gone.  What a sobering reminder of the power of the sea.


We pull out the kayak from the roof box, unpack it and roll it out ready for inflation.  I ask Ronnie to plug in the electric pump and pass it to me.  He looks in vain and rummages through every cubby hole in Miranda, but in my heart of hearts I know I have messed up and it's still sitting in our awning some 6 miles away.

We have a hand pump with us and from experience I just know this is going to be painful.  Taking it in shifts Roids, Ronnie and myself eventually get it up, but I am seeing stars from the exertion.  I'll be glad to see them go home as I'm knackered trying to keep up with two young men over half my age!


We spend a lovely few hours down at the cove with Ronnie, Roids and TF forming a rota to take to sea - well, Ronnie and TF took it in turns while Roids gave his arms a good workout staying in the driver's seat for the full 2 hours.

People are getting hungry, so rather than get ripped off in the cafe at the cove we pack up and take a spin into Penzance to buy some pasties which are taken back to site to eat.

We have a lazy afternoon at the van before scrubbing up and going out for a meal at The First and Last again.

Why do people feel the need to make others squirm?  A table next to us was occupied by 5 people, mother, father, two daughters and a boyfriend who was out to impress future inlaws.  First off they kicked off because our food arrived before theirs(the fact that I ordered ours before they did seemed to have escaped them!) Then as they were remonstrating with the young girl the chair that the mother was sitting on gave way. While the young girl did her best to placate them in front of a packed dining room the father chirps up "Ha, Ha, Ha, I'm a lawyer ..... Do you want my card?" Led by the boyfriend out to impress the others joined in with much Guffawing!!

The waitress was in bits.  No need for it, no need for it at all.

The food was superb, I had a crab salad.


With full bellies we made our way back to Penzance and it's arcade on the promenade where we added to our prize ticket stash and accumulated 738 tickets - yey we nay be able to afford 3 rubbers and a sharpener at the kiosk.

Back on site we sit up late and play cards before turning in just after midnight.

Nos da

Friday 4 July

The weather had to break at some point and @DerekTheWeather 's gap toothed west country cousin is not promising great things for today.  I get up from my pit at 9ish and take the dogs for a few laps of the field, on the second of which it dawned on me that my feet were feeling a whole lot better today.

We are  approaching the mid point of the holiday, by which time I am fast running out of clean pants.and Herself refuses to let me wear them inside out as they are worse than usual because of my over enthusiastic consumption of Felinfoel Ales.

We rig up our little twin tub at the back of the van, using the shower hose to feed it with water, and before you know it I am fully stocked in the clean pants department once more.


While clearing away I step on a protruding ground peg, right on the same spot that I hurt my right foot previously.  I hopped about a bit, swore a lot and bit on my bottom lip to stop me from crying.  Herself laughed.

Five minutes later I'm hobbling around and thwack.  I stand on an upturned plug with the same right foot and in exactly the same bloody sweet spot.  I see stars and crumple into a sobbing mess on the awning floor. Herself is now unable to contain herself and is hysterical.  Oh, how I laughed.

I cook up a full breakfast on the Weber just before the heavens opened and it started raining, and boy did it rain.  No point in sitting in the van moaning about it so after checking the weather app to confirm it's raining everywhere today we decide to make our way to Lands End and avail of their indoor attractions.

After stumping up a fiver to Dick Turpin at the car park entrance we then sprinted (I hobbled) through the rain to the kiosk where Dick's twin sister is waiting in ambush.

First up is the 4D cinema experience.  As we settle into the seats Herself tells Roids to warn me that the seats move a little.  She knows me only too well, and as I don't really cope well with stuff like this, expletives are more than likely to pass my lips and there is a row of kids in the row in front of us.

All is going well as I put on the glasses and sit back.  There are a few fish that appear to be swimming in the auditorium around us and I'm wondering what all the fuss is about, then suddenly as Captain Nemo sits back in his chair, mine jolts back harshly to about 45 degrees.  I feel my back jar with the jolt, then just as quickly it returns back to the vertical at warp speed.  I thought I did rather well, but Ronnie and Roids are giggling at me clutching at the arm rests in an effort to recompose myself.  As I was trying to do so I got blasted full on in the chops by a water cannon as boat splashed on the waves on screen, and I must admit to a little swear word at this point.  I'm taking the glasses off to clear them when Thwack!  Back goes the seat again jarring my back once more and I drop the glasses on the floor.

By now Roids, who is sat next to me, is in hysterics as I get blasted by the water cannon once more. Gasping for air I open my eyes to see a shoal of piranhas which I successfully swat away just before being jolted back viciously to 45 degrees once more as the submarine we are travelling in takes a dive for the sea bed.

Nemo and a kid then don diving suits for a walk on the ocean floor.  All is well for a while until they happen across an octopus.  On screen the octopus wraps it's tentacles around the foot of the kid, and at the very same time I feel those same tentacles wrapping themselves around my legs.  I kick out to free myself and look up to see a ginormous fish swimming straight for me who pauses to belch in my face before turning away. I felt the air rush over my face as he did so.

We are back in the sub now and I get thrown back to 45 degrees as the sub heads for the surface and get one further blast from the water cannon for good measure as the sea spray hits the characters on the screen who are on a ship.

The house lights turn on and the trauma is over.  I didn't cope very well. Ronnie and Roids cannot stop giggling to themselves, nor could the ride security who had obviously been watching my antics on CCTV.

We adjourn to the bar in the Lands End Hotel to have a drink and allow me to compose myself.  I'm ordering a round of drinks and have to do a double take because I could have sworn that Grandad from Only Fools and Horses stood next to me to get a round in!


While in the hotel I had to do some undercover work, and all wondered why I kept leaving my seat.  All will be revealed in a later post.

Arthur's quest is next up, and this is a much more sedate affair ........ well except for a minor incident on the rope bridge that is.

It is still raining and we decide to go back to the van and chill for a few hours before having fish and chips for tea from 190 degrees west.  Very nice they were too.  Scrubbed up, we all pile into Miranda and make our way to Country Skittles for an evening's bowling.

This place is superb.  It has a shooting gallery, 4 bowling lanes, two pool halls, dart boards, shuffle boards and an arcade.  All attached to the pub / restaurant.  An excellent time was had by all.



The drive back to site was a little hairy what with the rain, slippery roads and darkness.  We managed to lose Cerys when we got back.  She had a senior moment as she jumped out of the boot and went to the wrong caravan.  We didn't notice at first, but she was no where to be seen and had got confused in the darkness.  She was found eventually, but everyone got a soaking in the process of finding her.

We all turned in just after midnight after having made the most of an appalling day weather wise.

Nos da

Saturday 5 July

Sad day today.  Half way through our holiday and Ronnie, Roids and TF are leaving us and returning home.  I get up and Ronnie has walked the dogs and is starting to take down his sleeping annex.  Breaking their camp takes no time at all with all of us pitching in and before too long we are waving them off with tears in our eyes.  I'm getting to be a soppy git in my old age, but it really has been a pleasure to have them down with us for the past week.

Herself sets about cleaning the van and awning while I potter about outside in the sunshine, taking the opportunity to dry out the kayak and fold it away tidy.

The rest of the day is spent doing very little except sleeping in the sun and resisting the urge to take a box of Swan Vesta to an arshole's caravan (please refer to my facebook feed for an explanation).

I throw some BBQ chicken on the Weber to incinerate while I stand over it and take in the view.  I have Cape Cornwall to my right, Longships Lighthouse to my left and straight ahead the Isles of Scilly are visible in the clear light.  I have another one of those "You don't get this in Hotels" moments as I take another slug of my ice cold scrumpy.


After tea  we tale a walk down Sennen Cove and stop for a drink at The Beach Restaurant.  We take a corner table on the terrace overlooking the beach and the peace and tranquility is spoiled only by a bunch of very load braying hoorays down from London for the weekend who are quaffing bottles of Bollinger at £66 a pop.



Back up to the van on site to flop into the sofas up front for a few hours watching the very last of the sun drop below the horizon of the Atlantic.

Nos da

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