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Saturday, 17 August 2013

Cornwall 2013 (Part 3)

Thursday 15 August

It was a bit windy last night and was still blowing a bit as we woke up at around 9am.  Lying in bed looking up through the sky light I could see our flag pole almost bent right over the Caravan.  I sat on the edge of the bed scratched me gonads and opened the side blind for a peak.

The AWOL family have returned, at least their car has at some point during the night, no signs of life though, so I don't know if the bodies are in the boot of the old beamer or buried up on Bodmin Moor.

After a light breakfast of cereal the kids head off to Flambards theme park loaded up with a packed lunch thoughtfully prepared by herself.  Herself and I have no real plans for today other than to get some shopping in.

I know we were only going to Iceland and Lidl, whose sole existence relies on people who are too lazy to shave and wash to go to Tesco, but it was a full two days since I has stood under the shower spray and I thought it might be pushing it a bit.

This may sound like I'm becoming a bit obsessed, but by 12.30pm there is still no life in the van next door, the Beamer is parked up but all the curtains in the van are closed, as is the door. I'm taking his Reg and keeping a close eye on Crimewatch for a few months!

Showered, we head for Penzance and armed with Farm Foods' bags for life, we entered the unknown world to us of Iceland. There were some right specimens in there and the 20 mins or so that it took us to load up the trolley with £50 worth of frozen food was interesting to say the least.

Next up was my all time favourite shopping experience - Lidl - Where else can you buy and chainsaw with your weekly shop?  We stopped at a bakery to get some pastys for lunch and took the scenic route back to site through Newlyn and Mousehole.  From there we took an unintentional tour of the peninsular courtesy of TomTom and pulled onto the site with cold pastys and thawed frozen food!

The Beamer has gone.

My Weber is in a dreadful state, so it gets the good news with a wire brush, some oven cleaner, a few kettles of boiling water and the hose pipe.

Ronnie, Roids, DD & TF roll up for a change of clothing and to fill their faces before heading back out to Lands End  for Magic in the Skies.  They seem to have enjoyed Flambards, but somehow managed to squeeze a full day out into 3 hours!

Herself is craving a bag of chips, so we pick some up in the 190 degrees west chippy close by and eat them on the cliff top over looking Sennen Cove and Gwenver Beach.



Surfers ride the waves and the RNLI inshore RIB prowls on a practise run out. After we walk the dogs along the grassy cliff tops Miranda gets a little frisky and has some 4x4 fun on the steep grassy banks.

video

Back on site by 8.45pm and the Beamer is still off site and the caravan empty with lights out.  I'll keep you posted.

Herself and I settle down in the van with the dogs and enjoy a glass or three of scrumpy and the wind does its best to snap our flagpole.  About 9.30 and the Beamer pulls up, but it's way too dark by now for me to do a head count.  I'll keep you posted.

9.45 arrived with a massive bang as Magic in the Skies started.  We are only about a mile as the crow flies from the firing zone.  I am lying on the bed reading my kindle when both Tali and Cerys jump on top of me (both kicking me in the gonads) and attempt to hide under the duvet to escape the bangs!

Very soon it's all over and the kids get back to site  and I drift off to sleep while they and herself stay up late watching DVDs.

Friday 16 August

We wake to bright blue skies and sunshine, but a restful night it was not. It rained quite heavy most of the night and the winds whipped against the awning keeping herself awake.  Herself does not rest when it's windy.  And if herself is awake, I must be awake too.  At 5am herself opened the blinds for about the 100th time to check the awning for the noise she could hear.  Then she opened the blind to the roof light, shrieked and yelled at me to get up.

Our flag pole had snapped in two in the wind and it was my task to go and sort it out.  It's still dark, it's pissing down and it's blowing a gale, and I'm trudging about in my boxers wrestling with the pole.  I am not amused and when I get back in the van I note that herself is now snuggled up nice and warm under the duvet as I drip dry on the floor.


Cooking breakfast was an enjoyable experience alfresco in the sunshine watching the ships out at sea. I bet they weren't wrestling with flagpoles in their boxers at 5am!

The last of the commune for the unwashed de camped this morning and then re camped only 3 pitches away??  Maybe it's like a crop rotation thingy and they need to give the pitches a chance to recover - like when Gyppos move on from one lay-by to another!

The bloke from next door appears, though he's shaved his head in attempt to change his appearance and he goes about early morning caravan chores putting up a pretence of normality.  His two boys appear but still  no sign of his Mrs.  There is a strange smell coming from his boot though.  I'll keep you posted.

Breakfasted we load up the (deflated) kayak and set off to give it some use.  We cruise through the lanes and down the hill into Lamorna Cove.  This place is special.





The kids spend a few hours out on the kayak while we fry on the Quayside, and after a few hours we head back to site to freshen up.

It is the kids last full day here, they head for home tomorrow, and want to make the most of it.  They take a spin over to Mevagissey while herself and I go for a Cider or two in the beer garden with the best view in the UK.




Ronnie, Roids, DD and TF get back at around 11pm after taking a detour to the arcade in Penzance and we all sit up chatting till quite late on before turning in after a lovely day.

Saturday 17 August

The forecast for today is shit, and I mean really shit (high winds and heavy rain all day).  Where we are is virtually the first piece of Land you hit after leaving New York for the UK.  We therefore tend to get everything the Atlantic has to throw at up "Full Pelt".

The kids are leaving us today and I was not looking forward to dropping their tent in that weather, so when I looked through the blinds at 8am and saw that it was not raining yet I lept out of bed (as quick as a mid 40s unfit and creaky man can leap out of bed in the morning) to wake them up and start the de-camping process.

Fair do, they all pitched in and we had their pitch cleared, packed away and loaded into their car by 10am just as the heavens opened with the first torrential downpour of the day.

With that out of the way DD and TF made themselves a little more presentable and I went to drop the kids off at the pool.  While doing so I gazed out of the window over the fields towards Land End Airport an wondered how many hotel bogs would have a view to equal the one I have from my bog window this morning (I know it's raining but enjoy!)


If it's sunny and I remember tomorrow I'll take another for you (you lucky people).

We waved the kids off at around 11.30am, who's plan is to drop into Healey's Cider Farm and Newquay before grabbing some lunch and finally heading for home. I have written this bit in my head for a few days and I was going to say .......... As we waved Ronnie, Roids, DD & TF off there were a few tears , yes, tears of joy as we punched the air ........ but I won't.

It was hugs all round (well, hugs from herself and manly grunts from me) before we waved them off (then chased them for our caravan keys that were still in their car's glove box) and returned to the awning, the very quiet and empty awning before herself and I both filled up.  It's been lovely to have the 4 of them with us for a week, Ronnie is 20 and Roids is 17 and there's not many boys of that age that would contemplate a week's holiday with the olds.  we consider ourselves to be very lucky and hope they've enjoyed the week as much as they have.  Our camp seems so empty now with just a yellowed patch of grass where they were pitched up.


Anyways, enough of that clap trap. Herself set about the task of clearing out, de cluttering and cleaning the van and awning, and we now fell that we so much room.  With the wind howling and the rain lashing against the side of the van it would have been so easy to vedge out for the rest of the day, however, we need stuff.

The Beamer has gone out, there appeared to be four skins in the car, but I've only seen three of them actually move.  There is what looks like an over stuffed scarecrow in the passenger seat with lank greasy hair.  He's not fooling me at all, I've got his number, and have Crimewatch on speed dial on the phone.  I'll keep you posted.

If the weather was like this at home we would not venture out, but as we are on holiday the weather didn't seem to matter too much.  As the saying goes "there's no such thing as bad weather, just inappropriate clothing."

With flip flops swapped for walking boots and waterproof coats chucked in the back of Miranda we set off to hit the streets of Penzance.

First stop was The Mountain Warehouse to get new 'Jesus Creepers' for me to replace my knackers 10 year old pair.  Next up was Poundland for some rope to make guy lines for the windbreaks, Fabreeze to rid the van of that wet dog smell and an armful of other shit that we don't really need. Next up was the Co-op for wine for herself and stuff to make a curry later on before finishing off in Halfrauds for some chemicals for our toilet.

Now I know I'm a sad individual, but my phone never really leaves my side, and it's been bugging me for some time that there was nowhere by the bed that I could charge my phone over night within reach of the bed and not have trailing leads everywhere (I bloody hate wires and leads showing).  So I treated  myself to a phone holder with an adhesive backing, and it's now stuck to the wall just above the headboard.  Snazzy don't you think. I just know Mr Shag will want one for his Caravan.


We picked up some pastys for lunch and ate them on a hill top overlooking Sennen Cove while the dogs ran free and hassled walkers on the SW Coastal path and surfers diced with death among the waves and rocks below.

I get all the outside chores done on return before we batten down the hatches and cwtch up for the rest of the day staring out into the thick fog that has enveloped the site.


I put on my Chef's hat and get into JFO mode and produce a fab Chicken Jalfrezi for tea which is washed down with a Cobra beer.


With the dishes cleared Herself suggests a walk as the rain stops and the clouds lift. I strap on my brand new Mountain warehouse branded 'Jesus Creepers' for a try out and we take a walk along the prom in Sennen Cove. It's 9pm and the light is fading rapidly, but there's quite a few on the beach and on the prom and the pub is heaving.

The reds in the skies are quite something,but my efforts at capturing them are abysmal.




Back in the van I start on clearing all the booze that the kids have left behind. Not really my kind of drinks, but waste not want not.


BTW the Beamer is back but all the curtains are closed in the van by 10 pm.  He's hiding something, I know he is.  I'll keep you posted.

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